


Leave All Your Love And Your Longing Behind (You Can't Carry It With You If You Want To Survive)

by insertwittyname



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Character Study, Domestic, M/M, One Shot, Polyamory, Taako had a rough life, Trans Magnus Burnsides, Trans Male Character, but from Magnus's point of view, if that makes sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-02-08 20:09:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12872073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insertwittyname/pseuds/insertwittyname
Summary: It was obvious that this was the biggest change for Taako, though. An almost-instantaneous halt in the movement he’d experienced his whole life, a stagnancy that came with domestic life. From going going going to just…not. The inertia from it must be hard for Taako to keep from letting it overcome him and move again. Magnus recognized it in the way he was twitching, squirming, fidgeting more than before.-Magnus reflects on Taako's struggles with domesticity after a lifetime of constant travel.





	Leave All Your Love And Your Longing Behind (You Can't Carry It With You If You Want To Survive)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first full TAZ fic, and I wrote most of it after waking up in the middle of the night thinking about how hard it must be for Taako to get used to even the thought of living in one place for the rest of his life. And I really love Magnus/Kravitz/Taako, this ship doesn't get the appreciation it deserves. My good babies.
> 
> Title from Dogs Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine (a really good song with this fic).
> 
> Enjoy!

Taako’s finally in a trance. It only took hours of talking, cuddling, reassuring him that no, Kravitz was not in trouble and need their help, and yes, he would be coming back home the second he’d finished his last job, seeming to be his toughest yet. It was still hard for him to shake the image of his other boyfriend being pulled under, drowning in that awful inky blackness. Even after so many months, neither of them could believe the Hunger was really gone. Every down moment felt like they needed to be on the lookout, ready to defend their home once again.

Now, Magnus lay with Taako snuggled in against his larger chest, snoring softly, the only clear sound in the silence of the late night/early morning. The human carefully played with the long blonde hair of his boyfriend. He knew he should sleep, but without Kravitz there he couldn’t shake his own natural worry for the third part of their triad. Magnus had gone longer without sleep, anyway.

As he looked down at Taako, he found the elf’s face was tilted up more than it had been so he could get a full look of the profound beauty that was a drooling wizard. Gazing down at him, Magnus couldn’t help but think of all the rest he must have missed out on. Not only had the past couple years been full of change and fighting tooth and nail to retrieve the items they didn’t know they’d created, but all of Taako’s life had been movement. Not only change, but upheaval, fluctuation which must not have been conducive to getting a full night’s rest, let alone enough to sustain the near-boundless energy the man regularly exuded when awake. How anyone could get used to that at such a young age was beyond the human’s comprehension. Magnus felt lucky to have had a somewhat normal childhood in comparison, even with the pressure of asserting his masculinity to those around him who argued he was nothing but a feisty girl. Taako and Lup had been lucky in that aspect, having the other to fight with for their rights to their identities and expressions when they weren’t with their accepting aunt.

It was obvious that this was the biggest change for Taako, though. An almost-instantaneous halt in the movement he’d experienced his whole life, a stagnancy that came with domestic life. From going going going to just…not. The inertia from it must be hard for Taako to keep from letting it overcome him and move again. Magnus recognized it in the way he was twitching, squirming, fidgeting more than before. His body was rejecting the lack of flux like having one set home was a disease, every cell fighting it off to return to the balance it had found before in constant travel. He could feel it when he gazed into forest green eyes, the quiet longing to flee, to run, to just /go/. It was all he knew.

Magnus and Kravitz did their best to keep him grounded, helping him adjust to life in one home with the two of them and Angus, who Taako had all but legally adopted after the Day of Story and Song. They found ways to help the elf get things out of his system so he wouldn’t just leave the home they had built together: walking Angus to school, taking weekend vacations to visit Merle and his family, even simply using the long route to the market for groceries so Taako would have enough of a change of scenery to not get tired. But that unspoken need to go remained.

The human clung a little tighter to his boyfriend, subconsciously keeping him from going despite knowing Taako wouldn’t leave them. Part of Magnus knew he wouldn’t—couldn’t just up and abandon his family like that, not with Lup and Barry now living in the same town and working with Kravitz. If nothing else, Taako wouldn’t leave his sister, not after so recently getting her back. That knowledge helped at times like this, when Magnus reflected on how tentative his boyfriend’s presence could be if he let it, especially now that the elf was noticeably more uncomfortable being in the house more than a couple hours at a time when awake. Each time his eyes darted out to the window or door, Magnus knew what it meant and felt the need to beg him not to go, remind him that this was okay, living on the road with nothing but the clothes on your back and a spell book is no way to live out your entire existence. That there can be freedom in staying in one place with those who love you most.

A soft ripping noise brought Magnus out of his thoughts, looking over into the mostly-darkness of their bedroom to see Kravitz stepping in from the rift. It was clear he was happy to be home even before he shifted out of his skeletal form. Magnus smiled back and whispered, “That took longer than expected.”

Kravitz sighed softly as he changed out of his suit and into a pair of pajama pants before crawling into bed on Taako’s other side, “I’m sorry. The man wouldn’t go down without a fight.” He leaned over to kiss Magnus, “How was your day?”

“Good. Nothing out of the ordinary.” The human looked down at Taako, still snoring and drooling, and brushed a piece away from his open mouth, “He’s been doing okay, too. Today was a little tougher than usual, I think.”

“Think it’s time for another weekend away?” The reaper looked a little concerned, knowing exactly what that meant. The two of them had discussed it before and agreed that they would do whatever it took to help Taako adjust to life in one home.

“Yeah, I think so. His walk with Angus today took longer than normal.”

Kravitz just nodded as he moved closer to Taako, spooning the smaller man, “We can work on something.”

The two were quiet long enough that Magnus thought Kravitz had fallen asleep before he heard a soft, “Lup said she can talk to him about it. That could help some. She seems happier than he is to settle down.”

The human thought a moment, “That would work. Lup’s pretty good at that stuff, especially with him.” He hesitated before asking, voice quieter with nerves, “Do you ever feel bad about it? That we’re keeping him here when he clearly doesn’t want to be?”

Kravitz was quiet again, gently glowing red eyes moving in the darkness like it held the answer to that he was searching for, “He doesn’t want to move so much anymore, I can tell. He would’ve left by now if he did. Whether he stayed out of a sense of obligation at first, I…honestly can’t say. But now it’s becoming more normal for him. He’ll never not be nomadic in nature after the life he’s had, I don’t think. He spent too long travelling for it to be completely gone, but he won’t abandon us. He couldn’t.” There was hope in Kravitz’s voice, it was clear. He was still trying to fully convince himself of it, too.

But it was all the reassurance Magnus needed at the moment, the anxiety about it leaving his body almost instantly. He nodded and closed his eyes, resting his head more into the pillow as he relaxed, “Yeah, you’re right.” He yawned, muffling it with a hand before whispering a little, “I love you, Krav.”

“I love you, too, Magnus.” Kravitz’s voice, full of concern and comfort like it always was with those the reaper cared about, was the last thing Magnus heard before he drifted off.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I did a pretty good job for my first time. I love Taako with my whole heart, I know how hard it can be to adjust to those changes. He'll be okay with his family's support, though, no worries.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Feel free to leave comments, OP does take constructive criticism as well as praise if you feel like giving it.


End file.
